My Old Pastor Says He “used” to Be an Alcoholic. I Don’t Think There Is Such a Thing Is There?

Question by Susan Storm: My old pastor says he “used” to be an alcoholic. I don’t think there is such a thing is there?
I speak from experience b/c my late father was an alcoholic.I spent years watching my mother pick himself off the ground (many times) him later going to AA meetings & staying sober for almost a year before falling of the wagon when my “gram” died. (Yes that was my nickname for grandma!) Last year he died from complications from hepatitis but I know it was induced by the booze. He would drink beer @ breakfast, lunch and dinner & would drive with an open container all the time.
I went to some AA meetings when I noticed I was drinking a 12 pack a day everyday after work & thought I might have a problem. I won’t say what I have substittuted in place of booze. I’ll just say it’s non-toxic.I know I am predispoed to having an addictive personality since my father was an alcoholic & my mother has a slight gambling problem that has left her bankrput.
I learned there is no such thing as “used to be an alcoholic” .It’s like addiction. Once an addict you’re still an addict. Even if you’ve gone to treatment & worked the 12 steps you’re still a “recovering” addict. Is it the same with alcohlism. Once you’re an alcoholic: you are always one & a sober alcoholic is still a recovering one. I know a lot about addiction since it runs on both sides of my family but I am looking for any outside input, feedback, or experiences IF you feel comfortable sharing them.
Was I wrong not to feel that much sadness when he passed? I knew it was coming it just happened so fast. He wasn’t much of a dad: he rarely paid child support & I won’t ramble on how he cheated on my mom & stayed out drinking sometimes all night. My 2 questions would be “Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic” correct & Am I a bad person for not feeling that sad when he passed? Someone needs to correct my former pastor & tell he’s STILL an alcoholic: but a recovering one. I apologize for being long-winded. It’s part of MY disorder.
I mean to say you’re still an alcoholic just a RECOVERING one. I’d appreciate answers from more mature people. I’m 26 not 16 & could use some feed back from some in or CLOSE to my age group/bracket!

Best answer:

Answer by Inkii
Ok, that ‘Always an Alcoholic’ thing is not true. I know plenty of people who quit completely and 40 years later, never picked up something like that during any of that time period.

If you quit for 40 years and still are not drinking, does that make you still an alcoholic? :/

Also there are people who drink a margarita or just a simple beer when with friends. Would that make them an alcoholic because they drank it? I see that your father drank a lot, but sticking to the original question, “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic?” you give me ideas.

And it is not wrong for not being too at your father’s passing. He was your father, and like everyone else, he had a life and choices to make. Things are the way things are and either way, as previously stated, he is still your father and you have every right to feel the way you feel.

Answer by summer
it seems most people say recovering, maybe people don’t like using that term recovering alcoholic, i used to drink a lot and was maybe in denial about the term alcoholic but when people ask me if i’m still drinking i just simply say no, i don’t call myself a used to be alcoholic or recovering alcoholic. Are you upset about this because of your dad? Maybe if you asked your pastor if he considers himself an recovering alcoholic. About your dad, your feelings are your feelings, to feel how you want to feel your not wrong but maybe someday you’ll forgive him in your heart. And i’m about 8 yrs older so i hopoe i’m considered in close range

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