Why Is She Leaving Her Children and I Behind?

Question by E. Danni: Why is she leaving her children and I behind?
So my girlfriend and I have been together for six months. Recently, she “doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore.” I’m 26. She’s 30 with two kids and an ex husband. Two weeks ago she shut me out because “she wanted to shut out the world” because she was so depressed. Every cent she works for goes to the kids. She’s been working and having the kids Monday-Friday. The dad sees the kids over the weekend. The dad is in a drug rehab facility.

Apparently, since these past two weeks have been going well for them, she now wants to take up a job offer and move to New York. “I’ll fly back every weekend,” she says, “I’ll pay for everything. This is something I’ve always wanted to do. If it weren’t for the kids, I’d be in New York already.”

She’s always said that the kids come first. Now, she’s willing to leave them behind.

She says she loves me and now she’s willing to leave me behind as well.

She wants to get away from it all apparently. But why is she going to move away from the people she loves most? I don’t understand. The kids are going to be so messed up I can already see it coming :/
She’ll be leaving the kids with the ex husband who is still in the drug rehab facility. But who knows maybe he is ready to take on the role of the parent mainly by himself.

Oh and when she says he’s taking over the parenting, she say I won’t be able to see the kids anymore because he won’t let me see them.

Best answer:

Answer by Destiny
Maybe she wants a better living. She wants to live out her dream but not only that she wants to have a better life for her kids. I have a sister who has a friend now living in our house. She is 24 year old and has 3 kids. She tells me how she works so hard for her kids so she can see them again one day. So she can have a better life for them. Everyday she works so hard even though its a crappy job she works at jack in the box but she is always on the run. She is a person who is in debt and can’t pay no one. She lives on food stamps and is homeless. My sister took her in and we have been supporting her. I don’t know for sure though because I don’t know your girlfriend but maybe that’s it and if not maybe she’s doing it for a bad reason since she can’t have a nice life since her ex is a drug addict and since she is probably struggling. Maybe what she really need is help. I say if you really love her you should go after her show her that you love and care for her and that your willing to help her and the kids. That you will help her earn money and that you will support her and that you will go wherever she goes. I don’t know much but I say try stopping her because I know what it’s like not to have a mom around since I grew up not having a mom and I was abandoned. The kids will surely need her especially if they have no other parents around.

Answer by Kleem108
Well what she doesn’t know is that her thoughts will follow her to New York.
It’s sad and she sounds very depressed and lost and will do anything to get away from her own state of mind.

The best thing that you can do is let her go and find out for herself. She has to make new friends and a new life and doing that takes a bit of work. Hopefully this new job will help her wake up.

If she is not working already her new job in New York will help her come out of the depression but she will also wake up to how selfish she is with her kids.

Sounds like even if she was loved by you, she was blind to it because of her depression.
I’m sure that she will come back or you will be back together after some time but not in where you live now, Maybe in New York.

She has go where things seems better to make a change for herself.

As mentioned the best thing you can do now is to let her go and accept it regardless how hard that seems. Otherwise it will be you who will be depressed.

I hope that helps.
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With your additional info. It sounds rather strange to have kids live in a drug rehab and for her to accept that she won’t see her kids. A drug rehab is not a place for kids to live and I don’t believe that social services would allow it apart from visits.

I think she is lying and really wants to get away from you

Your best bet is to cut her off NOW! before you get even more hurt.

Add your own answer in the comments!

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